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Bondgirly
Member
Registered: 08-2004
Location: Russia with luv
Posts: 65
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Re: hello duckie
Mnn..See I dont get four that way..lol....although your way works...i do..
D D ........two ducks in front of two ducks
D D
D D
D D........two ducks behind two ducks
D D
D D........ two ducks between two ducks..ie diagonal 
Sticking with the duck theme..
A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman if he has any corn. The barman says "Dont be daft, we dont sell corn, we sell beer, this is a bar, get out of here!"
So the duck leaves.
The next day the duck comes back and asks the barman if he has any corn again, so the barman is getting a bit fed up and shouts "I told you, we don't have any corn! Get out!"
So the duck leaves.
The next day the duck goes in again and says "Have you got any corn?" The bartender is not happy at being intterrupted from his customers again and says, "Listen you stupid duck, for the last time, we don't have corn! If you come back tomorrow, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar!"
So the duck leaves.
The next day the duck comes back and asks, "Do you have any nails?" The bartender tuts really loudly, raises his eyebrows and says, "No, I dont have any blo*dy nails!!".
The duck says, "Good. Have you got any corn?"
Hee hee
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This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine.”
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5/Dec/05, 18:10
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Bondgirly
Member
Registered: 08-2004
Location: Russia with luv
Posts: 65
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Re: hello duckie
A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver, informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he doesn't know what to do with them anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from here and that's where you should take them." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks.
The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck barreling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!" "I did," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!" 
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This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine.”
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11/Dec/05, 0:35
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Bondgirly
Member
Registered: 08-2004
Location: Russia with luv
Posts: 65
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Re: hello duckie
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck, "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich, please?"
"Certainly," says the bartender, "sorry about that, it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.
So the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, pays and leaves. This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender tells him about the incredible talking duck.
"Marvelous!" says the ringleader, "get him to come see me."
So the next day, the duck comes into the pub. The bartender says, "Hey, Mr Duck, I lined you up with a top job paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus" says the bartender.
"The circus?" the duck enquires.
"That's right," replies the bartender.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.
"That's right!" says the bartender.
The duck looks confused and asks: "What do they want a plasterer for?"
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This time, Mr. Bond, the pleasure will be all mine.”
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11/Dec/05, 0:40
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Generalley Cool
Senior Member
Registered: 08-2003
Location: -NO, YOU prove im NOT diana!
Posts: 483
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Re: hello duckie
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man." The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
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14/Dec/05, 4:54
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